Themes

 I must admit I'd never considered that some of my (and the BBB's) weirdnesses are shared by other folk.

When I was a young person I felt out of place:  academic and nerdy, preferring Star Trek and reading books to  going out with other people, never really fitting into the social sphere at work and then when I tried always saying or doing something wrong.

Now that I'm of ... errrr ... more mature years (I was only just of drinking age when CAMRA was formed), I've finally forgiven myself for my "shortcomings".  My job needs me to "adult" on a regular basis so I need to keep the pretense going with people I don't really know well, especially when on duty or "in charge" but those people who know me reasonably well - including my young team of workers - know full well what's going on behind the scenes.  They share some of the traits with me and it was the privilege of working alongside them which finally allowed me to understand myself better.

So, when I saw an update from Boak and Bailey about an old post they'd recently ported to their blog (before I followed them) I couldn't help but hard agree.  It's something I'd wittered about a couple of days earlier (and they very kindly linked to that in their weekly subscriber update) and it's an observation that the BBB and I had muttered to ourselves about before (the BBB also shares some of the traits).

We used to go to a few football away matches (Brighton and Hove Albion, since you ask) - especially when BHAFC were in League 1 and the Championship (League divisions 3 and 2 in old money).  We went to (in no particular order) Charlton, Millwall, Wolverhampton, Liverpool,  Watford, Peterborough, Ashton Gate, The Mem, Cardiff, Newcastle and Middlesborough - and there may be others, I can't remember.  First order was always to find a decent pre-match pub with food and post-match pub - the chaps usually knew the decent pubs if they'd done away games before but just sometimes it was new to them.  Because I was never "on duty" for finding the pubs, I never found it particularly stressful going to a new place:  there was an expectation of it being busy and seats being at a premium but it was still a predictable kind of unknown.

Going to football introduced me to some of my favourite pubs but if you really didn't already know the pub scene, whether a particular place didn't welcome away fans (even those not in club colours) then we might well go to a "'spoons".  We knew the drill, we knew the beer was good enough and, crucially - we knew how they worked.  You can substitute Costa Coffee, Starbucks and Pizza Express: if you just need to get "a job done" - like having something to eat, going to the loo, sitting down after a long walk - they fit the bill.  I frequently have to remind myself of that when I look at the Knights Templar (which I can nearly see from our flat), or the "London and County" in Eastbourne.

As someone really quite prone to overload (is it getting worse as I get older or is it that I'm less prepared to mask to cope with it...? ) it's important for me to remember that as I realise now, I'm not as much of an outlier as I thought I was 40 years ago.  There are lots of people heading to the 'spoons right now because it provides them with certainty and confidence to enter - maybe in a strange town.

For me pubs are a vital part of my way of winding down after some of the stresses of my work -  the place does more of the heavy lifting than the beer, per se.  When I'm feeling unstressed and up for a challenge, I'm more likely to try something new (I'm hoping to get to the Trevor Arms in Glynde, the Hastings Project pub in St Leonards when we get back to Sussex) but I won't be going on days when my head's too busy.

There are reasons we're heading to Martha's again this afternoon:  There's rugby to be watched and neither of us want to be in too loud and busy a space today so we're taking a tablet and finding a corner to hunker down in with the sound turned off (we're not animals).