This is only tangentally about beer - but the thoughts occurred throughout the day, but crystallised in the LHG Taproom in the afternoon.
I find Woman's Hour a little bit tedious, at times but something someone said yesterday made me think of all the times in my life I've felt the need to prove a bloody point with men - and how that's shaped how I behave.
Ironically I never had to prove anything at home when I was growing up. My dad involved me in gardening and woodwork and anything else, if I was interested (which I usually was). As I got older and my dad needed more help around the house because of his health I ended up fixing the car, wallpapering the stairs (no, really...at the age of 18 or so), dismantling the washing machine so he could make a repair, etc, etc.
When I was very little my everso-tolerant lovely brother who is 8 years my senior had to put up with me demanding to play with his Lego, his soldiers, his Subbuteo and Scalextric and for him to teach me snooker and darts. Later on he taught me guitar and photography and I never remember him seriously complaining.
I guess my mum may have been a little disappointed in my total lack of interest in clothes (I mean, I didn't want to walk around naked or anything, but I had no interest in new or "pretty" clothes) - but I think she did eventually get over that.
It was when I ventured out into the wider world when I started work when I started to notice how prickly I got when men either patronised or, more often, underestimated me.
It started with the actuary who, when I asked him a question on the application of algebra to make mine and my colleagues' jobs a bit quicker, patted his seat and said "take a seat, my dear". I responded by getting really cross (although he was very, very senior) and said "there's no need to talk down to me, I've got an A Level in maths - I just want help applying it here!" (my A Level grade was a shocker, but I didn't feel the need to tell him that).
Actually, he and I became pretty firm friends after I told him off, and learned that my aunt who he had previously worked with had done much the same.
Anyhow - my next really strong memory of putting a bloke in his place was raising my voice at a school friend's boyfriend in the pub one evening when he said that drinking pints wasn't ladylike so he wouldn't buy me a pint but would be prepared to buy me two halves if I insisted.
A few years later, I took indecent glee when this same chap was giving me a lift home one night and the car got a puncture. We all got out and he (and another male friend of his) attempted to change the wheel - but had no idea how and this culminated in him trying to loosen the wheel nuts with the car fully jacked up. I rolled my eyes (and made whatever the noise of that is), snatched the wheel brace from him, lowered the car, loosened the nuts, jacked it back up again and put the brace back in his hand. To be honest, this now makes me feel a bit petty but at the time it felt SO good.
Later in my career I worked a lot with IT men (but always as part of the business, not the IT dept) - by then I'd done a part-time degree in computing, maths and technology subjects and was pretty pleased with my 2.1 BSc. I'd been playing with computers since I was about 15 but a lot of the IT guys used a special voice with me that pissed me off something rotten. I was prone, therefore, to quite public take-downs of men who used that voice from time to time.
Though, actually, it was a private take down that I remember more than anything - when a very senior IT guy asked for some information about stuff I was testing for him and I said "it happens on this server, but not that one" and he said (using the "voice", natch) "No, that's not possible - all the servers are set up the same". This went on for all the time I was doing the testing - I always noted the difference between servers and passed on the information - but always with the same reply.
The denouement came on the day I stopped passing on the information about what server I was working on. When I reported an issue he said "what server are you on...?" and of course, chippy me took over and said "but I thought all the servers were identical?" and when he asked "I suppose you think that's funny, do you?" I just answered "yes".
I very, very rarely get that incandescent feeling any more - I'm not sure if age has mellowed me, or whether the men I'm around are different, or have learned better. Rather I tend to notice more positive things.
<here we come to the beer link>
We were in the LHG taproom yesterday in the "after work" shift and I was doing a lot of people-watching.
I saw women sitting on their own with books or tablets and a beer and a pizza.
I saw groups of women ordering flights of beers and delighting in trying them.
I saw a couple of women having a romantic date with beer.
Then I saw a woman who was sitting outside in a mixed group of people, carry three beer glasses and navigate the stiff door with an expert hip-check without spilling a drop and take them to her table. I have many years' practice carrying three pints (they were 2/3rd glasses, but it's still quite a feat) and it was fantastic to see another woman do that.
(I also saw a party of 5 or so middle-aged blokes totally unable to locate and use a door - which was mildly entertaining).
I think I mostly marvelled at a mainly-beer venue being so equally split between men and women, and for that not to be just in the company of a man.
I know there's a lot of talk about bad behaviour towards women in the beer industry and it's unforgiveable but little pockets of welcoming loveliness can restore my faith a little from time to time.